He threw back that caffeinated tar like it was water. There would be no faggoty and degenerate dairy in his cup to soil the essence of his masculine purity. Degeneracy was not far from him, though. An image flashed upon the TV. A woman in a bikini. He threw his mug at the TV, smashing … Continue reading The Patriarchal Tradcon Warrior →

Cry, old woman Cry. When you can’t remember those island streets And Your beer stained Nakedness is yelling things you kept buried When You were sober...

Thirty-five hurtled into her like a team of runaway horses and trampled every last remnant of youth that had clung to her like the fading prize fighter clings to the ring ropes before taking that final punch that sends him into retirement. Everything had been fine until that goddamn doctor had told her that most … Continue reading In it for the Jizz →

Below is an excerpt from my upcoming book, The Leather Cannon. It is currently under review and should be available within the next three days. I will post a link when this happens. The Anglers Arms car park is hard but not too hard for me to sleep on. The bitumen is warm and the … Continue reading The Leather Cannon: Chapter One Excerpt →

Twenty-six minutes after he had advertised the room online she was handing over the first month’s rent. “This will do nicely,” she said and he couldn’t believe how easy it had all been. The other room had been empty since his friend had gotten married and the emptiness of the place weighed heavily on his … Continue reading The Roommate →

They were the best couple in town. He thought so, anyway. It had started so quickly and had then progressed into the pure love he’d been searching for his whole life. Goddammit, he loved her and he was pretty sure she felt the same. He had been cautious at first because he was still recovering … Continue reading LTR: The Next Level →

Nobody writes about this town. Except me. With its shit stained river running through it like a big brown dick, it’s barely worth the effort but I’ll try. Homeless pieces of shit stand on every goddamn corner. Some of them try to sell you a magazine and no one is talking about the fact that … Continue reading Nobody Writes About This Town →

Armidale had been good to me so far. I was waiting for a steak and the octogenarian tinder experiment next to me was about to kick off. The geriatric sex fiends were sauced up on booze and had been ushered in from the bar. They were so drunk they could barely talk and seemed demented, … Continue reading Armidale Love Story →

The movie was only twelve minutes and thirty-one seconds in, so it wasn’t a big deal. The call could have waited. He wasn’t that important, but fuck it, right? So she sat in the middle of the theatre with the movie playing at full volume and yelled into the phone at a guy she had … Continue reading Whiteknight Apocalypse →

I was sitting across from her trying to stay focused on what she was saying but I was fading in and out and her tits were the only thing keeping me afloat. I was bobbing up and down in an ocean of bored shitlessness and I was going to have to get up and leave … Continue reading Her Novel →