Cunnilingus Sour

Cunnilingus Sour slid with the grace of a garden snail, complete with slimy trail because it was her arms that propelled her forward with her legs askew like chicken wings. Her cunt dragged across the ground leaving its rotten abalone stain behind it. She picked up the phone and mashed the buttons with her pork sausage fingers and listened to the dial tone and waited for someone to pick up on the other end. Hello? said the voice.
Yum yum, said Cunnilingus Sour.
That you, Sour?
Yum yum.
Ok, ok. I’ll be there soon, said the voice and she put down the phone. The sun fought its way through the dark curtains, darkened by the mould that she had let grow on them. Like streams of water, the tiny rays of sunlight found cracks and crevices in the rotten fabric, creating patterns on the carpet that looked like orange stains. Muffled sounds came from another room. Voices under blankets or walled up behind plaster. YUM YUM, said Cunnilingus Sour and a single tear ran down her cheek and eventually got caught in the copious amounts of hair that littered her perpetually nude body. Clothes did not work for her. The muffled sounds came back. YUM YUM, she said and slid closer to where they were coming from. Flies gathered on her trail and like a spider web it rendered them immobile. There was no spider coming to eat them though, so they would die exhausted in her cunt slime. The voices were close now. She hit the wall with one of her ham hocks, pink and moist and just like Christmas. YUM YUM, she said and the voices stopped. There was a knock on the door. She slid back to where she had come from.

Her brother was standing at the front door with five pizzas. Here, don’t eat them all at once, he said.
Yum yum.
I’m serious. These should last you the rest of the day.
Yum yum.
How’re them boys doing?
YUM YUM, she said and snatched the pizzas and slammed the door in her brother’s face. Screams of fat cunt penetrated the walls at the front of the house but she did not care. A fistful of pizza and she opened that door. Six rotting souls lay chained to the floor, covered in their own shit. She slid over to them one by one and rammed fisted pizza into their mouths. YUM YUM, she said and watched them chew, their mouths so full they rushed to swallow so they could take a breath. Please, let us go, said one of them from the darkness. She slid over to him and got close enough to smell him. It was a battle of the stenches though and the unwashed pizza boy gave her genitals a run for their money. She leaned in and put her mouth over his. It was pizza on pizza and fish and burritos and unwashed dick of the relatives who would visit her. He fought in his chains but it was no use and she sucked the life out of him. The other five sat there staring in front of them, not wanting the same fate to befall them. They kept their mouths shut and breathed through their noses, which in turn made them gag.

There are no more pizza boys in town, said the voice on the other end.
Yum yum, said Cunnilingus Sour.
You took them all.
Yum yum.
So you’ll have to do with five.
Yum yum.
I know.
Yum yum.
Yes, I know six is the best number to have.
Yum yum.
I’ll see what I can do. There might be some somewhere else.
Yum yum.
Yes, I know.
Yum.

One of the others stopped moving one day. She had opened a can of dog food and tried feeding it to him but the mouth wouldn’t open. She pressed and pressed and some of the pale meat chunks went up his nose and the others vomited from the smell. He’s dead, said one of the other pizza boys.
Yum yum.
Dead.
Yum yum.
Please, let us go.
YUM YUM.
We won’t tell anyone.
Yum yum.
We can..well, you know?
Yum yum?
Yeah, if you let us go.
Yum yum, she said and left the room, closing the door behind her. The pizza boys were once again smothered with darkness and the smell of death and bodily fluids.

Her brother came as soon as night had settled in. It was dark enough to hide it. A smaller figure with a hessian bag over its head was led to her house. She was fanning herself in the lounge room, flies buzzing around her like the stars a concussion induces. I found one, he said.
Yum yum.
Yeah, a few towns over. Won’t say where.
Yum yum, she said and pointed to the room they were kept in.
Ok, you got chains in there?
Yum yum.
Great, he said and pushed the other one into the darkness. She slid behind them, pushing herself forward with her knuckles, the calluses making her numb to the cold of the floorboards. Where you want him? he said.
Yum yum, she said and pointed to the dead one.
Oh fuck, you didn’t move him? he said and she just stared at him like a queen who has been asked why the palace lawns have not been maintained. He dragged the corpse out of the way and left it in a corner near the entrance. The brown stain it left was not visible in the dark but it’s scent almost was. He ripped the bag off the other one’s head and pushed him towards the chains. Make it easy on yourself and put those chains on, he said.
Why?
Just do it.
Where am I?
YUM YUM, said Cunnilingus Sour.
Fuck this shit, said the other one and he rushed her. They collided with the force of planets and her nose was broken on his forehead. YUUUUUM YUUUUUUM, she said and there was blood. Rivers of blood to drown entire villages and the other one kept running. Her brother tried to patch her up but she brushed him off and went after the escapee with the speed of a charging gorilla. He was quick though and the night swallowed him before she had a chance to see where he had run to.

She loved the other five to death that night. The life sucked out of them from both gashes on either end of her body. Her brother stayed and watched and put a lid on the overflowing jealousy that flowed through his veins. The police came in the morning and sent the dog squad in to tear them apart. Screams of yum yum stained the morning air with a filth that hung in the sky in the form of brown clouds. They set fire to the house once the dogs had returned.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s