She thought she had seen God when her head smashed into the toilet cubicle door as he fucked her from behind, but she didn’t find Him then. She thought she had heard God when she was walking home from a night of turkey slapping with a stranger, but it had just been people yelling obscenities at her as they drove past. She found God in the doctor’s waiting room after the rash had first appeared. It had appeared without warning like small air bubbles on melted plastic. She had ignored it at first but it had spread and she found God right there in a doctor’s waiting room with a sexually transmitted disease.
The doctor’s diagnosis didn’t really bother her, mainly because she did not understand its severity. He told her that it would heal, but she’d carry the virus in her system like an unwanted handbag for the rest of her life. As long as she took the prescribed medicine though, she would never see the rash again. It was at this venereal crossroad that she found God in a stain on the wall at the doctor’s office. She saw the image of a kind faced and bearded man in that brown smear upon the wall. At twenty-nine she vowed to change the trajectory of her life and follow Jesus.
Two days of complete transitioning took place. She threw out all her clothes and replaced them with sun dresses. She felt the power of God compelling her to a more chaste existence and like all reformed whores before her, she was confident she would be able to cover up the dents and scratches she had acquired over the years. By looking somewhat conservative, she believed that the bones that stuck out of her closet would be hidden from view. She had a plan to settle down and get married now that she had found God. In her mind, what she had done previously was irrelevant because she was different now. She started going to church.
A couple of months into her twice weekly church visits, she met Teal. He wasn’t like the other guys. Kind and understanding, he reasoned with her when she was moody and put her on such a high pedestal that at times she felt dizzy. Teal was also happy to wait for any sexual intercourse they might have, which was a relief for her. She had decided to remain chaste until getting married and to let Teal go because of this, would have been a great tragedy. She was determine to follow God’s plan for her. Teal brought her flowers once a week and often took her to dinner and dancing without so much as the expectation of a handjob or a flash of her tits. She was often amazed that such men existed and it was at these times that a feeling of sadness came over her like the dull ache of a rotten tooth.
A marriage proposal a few months later was soon followed by a wedding and then a honeymoon that would mark the end of her self imposed chastity. She had gotten right by God and like a jug of desalinated water, she was living proof that actual filth could be converted to something more palatable. The extravagance of the honeymoon was only outdone by Teal’s pedestalization of her to heights that she had not previously experienced. She was a princess in a tower so high that it made her slightly nauseous at times. Things took a turn for the worst the first time they were intimate.
Teal took too long. The saving grace was that she only had to lie there now that she’d found God. The laborious task of blowjobs and handjobs were a thing of the past. Either way, she didn’t feel that way about Teal. He was different to the other guys. The guys who she’d blown in public toilets and the back allies of nightclubs generated a different feeling in her to what Teal did. Those guys had been exciting. Teal was reliable. She could never picture herself growing old with those guys from the clubs. Teal, on the other hand would be the faithful provider that she deserved. She was happy for the time being to let him masturbate with her vagina. Offhandedly, she said, “You really like a marathon, don’t you?”
“I couldn’t really feel it,” said Teal.
“Oh,” she said and knew it was because his dick was small. She was glad it would never go in her mouth because it would be like sucking on a toothpick. They did not have sex again on the honeymoon because she told him she was on her period.
A week after they returned home, Teal started acting weirdly. This didn’t alarm her too much because he was kind of a pussy. After acting strangely for three days, he finally spoke up. “Do you have an STD?” he said.
“Yes, it was God’s plan,” she said.
“Well, I have it now,” said Teal.
“God’s plan,” she said.
“How did you get it?” said Teal.
“HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT?!” she said.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” said Teal.
“Don’t ever ask about my past again,” she said and refused to talk to him for two days. He finally won her over with dinner and dancing and a bunch of red roses. When he tried to initiate sex, she pushed him away and said she wasn’t ready. She told him that she had felt judged the day he asked her how she had gotten the STD. He apologized again.
After some bumps in the road, she settled into married life and even though his health had deteriorated and he had experienced some unexplained weight loss, Teal also seemed happy. They talked about starting a family but she still wasn’t ready to offer her body to him just yet. If she was honest with herself, the idea of him huffing and puffing over her conjured up worse feelings than those she had felt the morning after she had accidentally fucked her cousin when she had been in high school. She had found God though and marrying Teal was part of His plan.
It was also part of His plan to take Teal away from her when a truck ploughed into his car as he was driving to work one morning. She didn’t cry because it was God’s will. She was relieved they had not started a family because being a single mother would have really fucked up her chances of locking down another man. She looked at Teal’s gaunt and lifeless body when she was called to identify him and shuddered at the thought that they had had sex twice. She thanked the undertaker and left.
She decided to take a break from church. After all, she was only thirty and she would have plenty of time to attend in the future. The thought of those guys from the night clubs sent tingles through her body. She threw out all the sun dresses and bought some clubbing clothes. She was going to get fucked properly for the first time since finding God. The feelings of filth were no longer there because she knew that no matter what she did from now on, He would forgive her and there would always be another Teal waiting in the background for his turn. She was so happy she had found God.